I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything at the moment.
There's a constant noise in my head, not dissimilar to tinnitus. I don't have a problem with my ears though, but rather there's a voice in my head making a kind of neeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh sound.
You see it has dawned on me that in just seven days time I will be preparing myself for the last night with Harriet sleeping by my side.
Seven days!
I find this thought so unbearable that I actually have to face away from this while typing it (grimacing). I am desperately trying to look on the bright side, but no matter what I come up with I just keep returning to the fact that it's the end of an era.
MySpaceMate Mandoh very wisely pointed out that there will be many mini eras unfolding and ending and that part of being a parent is dealing with this reality. (I paraphrase, but that was the gist wasn't it Mandoh?)
That is in fact the only solace I can find and I'm working with it and reminding myself that I must embrace each new phase, as they will each enrich Harriet's life. And in order for Harriet to have new phases the old ones must pass on. That's progress, and who am I to stand in the way of that? It's my job to facilitate it, isn't it?
"Neeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
I consider myself to be a rational and strong person. However, I think if you look deep, deep inside you'll find a quivering, paranoid, spineless poof; my 'inner ninny' if you like, and that's who is screaming and scared to move on. I think I need to go in there and give the ninny a good slap.
News on the Harriet front: She now crawls for the fun of it, even if she has no particular place to go. (She used to crawl resentfully, and I know she was thinking that we were a right pair of sadistic bastards, just sitting by and smiling and watching her struggle). It looks like she's doing the doggy paddle, but she uses her knees more than she did at first and so goes a bit faster.
She feeds herself (and her immediate surroundings) with a special soft-tipped spoon (don't want her scooping her eyes out). Time doesn't always permit the self-feeding, but I suppose the more she does it the quicker she'll get. To be fair, it's the cleaning up that takes the most time and energy. I am still too woefully disorganised to let her at the cutlery every mealtime. I shall blame it on the fact that I am still finding my feet in our new home.
She crawls over to me when she wakes up in the morning, which is very cute.
"Neeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
She wears a kind of sleeping bag that fastens over her shoulders so her efforts are a bit clumsy. I don't know about running before she can walk, but she does attempt a sack race every day.
Anyhoo, she puffs and pants and lumbers her way over for her breakfast and that's what I wake up to.
At the moment.
*bites fist*
Finally, she laughed at a French person today. Now on its own that could be forgiven, but with the marching, the epaulettes, and the screams of "Attack!", it paints a very dark picture.
I am going to have to keep my eye on this one.
Thank you for looking in.
There's a constant noise in my head, not dissimilar to tinnitus. I don't have a problem with my ears though, but rather there's a voice in my head making a kind of neeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh sound.
You see it has dawned on me that in just seven days time I will be preparing myself for the last night with Harriet sleeping by my side.
Seven days!
I find this thought so unbearable that I actually have to face away from this while typing it (grimacing). I am desperately trying to look on the bright side, but no matter what I come up with I just keep returning to the fact that it's the end of an era.
MySpaceMate Mandoh very wisely pointed out that there will be many mini eras unfolding and ending and that part of being a parent is dealing with this reality. (I paraphrase, but that was the gist wasn't it Mandoh?)
That is in fact the only solace I can find and I'm working with it and reminding myself that I must embrace each new phase, as they will each enrich Harriet's life. And in order for Harriet to have new phases the old ones must pass on. That's progress, and who am I to stand in the way of that? It's my job to facilitate it, isn't it?
"Neeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
I consider myself to be a rational and strong person. However, I think if you look deep, deep inside you'll find a quivering, paranoid, spineless poof; my 'inner ninny' if you like, and that's who is screaming and scared to move on. I think I need to go in there and give the ninny a good slap.
News on the Harriet front: She now crawls for the fun of it, even if she has no particular place to go. (She used to crawl resentfully, and I know she was thinking that we were a right pair of sadistic bastards, just sitting by and smiling and watching her struggle). It looks like she's doing the doggy paddle, but she uses her knees more than she did at first and so goes a bit faster.
She feeds herself (and her immediate surroundings) with a special soft-tipped spoon (don't want her scooping her eyes out). Time doesn't always permit the self-feeding, but I suppose the more she does it the quicker she'll get. To be fair, it's the cleaning up that takes the most time and energy. I am still too woefully disorganised to let her at the cutlery every mealtime. I shall blame it on the fact that I am still finding my feet in our new home.
She crawls over to me when she wakes up in the morning, which is very cute.
"Neeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
She wears a kind of sleeping bag that fastens over her shoulders so her efforts are a bit clumsy. I don't know about running before she can walk, but she does attempt a sack race every day.
Anyhoo, she puffs and pants and lumbers her way over for her breakfast and that's what I wake up to.
At the moment.
*bites fist*
Finally, she laughed at a French person today. Now on its own that could be forgiven, but with the marching, the epaulettes, and the screams of "Attack!", it paints a very dark picture.
I am going to have to keep my eye on this one.
Thank you for looking in.
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